In 6 days marks my official 10 years of working at inpatient behavioral hospitals. Wild. Never in my dreams as a child would I have imagined working in this setting, let alone for a decade. The Universe clearly had different plans for me and I am forever grateful for this exposure and experience.
With that being said, I have decided to return from my year-long online presence pause. This past year I have been semi-diligently writing behind the scenes and have made grand strides in the book-writing process but at the same time feel like I’ve barely broken the surface. Feelings of defeat and impostor syndrome were at an all-time high yet thankfully weren’t enough for me to give up and press delete.
I’ve been reading The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest and honestly I couldn’t have chosen a more perfect book to knock me back on my feet for a serious regrounding. I started this newsletter for a reason. I’ve been working at inpatient behavioral hospitals for a reason (and I promise you it’s not monetary). I have flown from Illinois to Maryland for 26 weekends in 2 years to receive my Yoga Therapy degree for a reason.
That reason is multi-fold but it boils down to being of service in a way that will reach people beyond the locked facility I work at for 40 hours every week. I want to share the wisdom I’ve gained because what good is it to keep it for myself?
So why did I take the longest pause ever?
…
I let my perfectionism, “busy” schedule, fears of worst-case scenarios, judgment, resistance, and constant need for a “fresh start” get in the way of moving toward my dreams. Self-sabotage in all its glory. I obviously want to physically hold my published book but I have some unhealthy patterns of behavior that need some attention and loving adjustment before that dream becomes a reality.
So, to keep my feet grounded and gaze forward, I will be adjusting my newsletter a wee bit. Instead of taking hours to write, record a meditation, and edit everything a million times, I will send you a cup of calm drafts. So, the postings will be inconsistent but consistent in terms of showing up. The emails will be related to my work as a yoga therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital as they were before. They will however be minimally edited and I will not ponder for hours about what to share because time is precious and the time is now. Audio recordings unfortunately might be put on hold.
I will greatly appreciate your support and encouragement if you choose to stay with me. I will also greatly appreciate any feedback as I venture into resolving my self-sabotaging coping methodology and finally get my book out into the world.
Wishing you all well,
Ola